For the Love of Shepard
by MoonSword1994
Summary: The battlefield is not a typical place to find love but that does not stop Major Nathaniel Coats for falling for the legendary Commander Shepard. Starts off during war, continues post-war. Slight AU. Some spoilers for ME3 but changes have been made. A gift fic for my dear friend SparklyQuarians with help from fellow writer PiperSqueak.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I would like to give a great big thank you to PiperSqueak for assisting me in writing this chapter. You're a great friend, Pip, thank you again.**

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Chapter One

"Keep going men! Hold the line!" shouted Major Nathaniel Coats as he fired at a larger than life mechanical squid as it bared down on his troop's position. They had been fighting this same damned Reaper for what felt like hours now. Every shot they fired he prayed would be the one to end it, but now they were down to their last crate of ammunition and things were starting to look bleak.

Glancing over at his war-weary men he saw the same pain and defeat in their eyes he had seen in the vids of soldiers fighting the Reapers in many other battles. The same as the eyes of men who knew their time was up. The end was near and they would either win all or they would sacrifice all. There was no in-between.

His men needed hope. They needed hope like drowning men need one more breath of air. Hope above all else would keep them alive. Keep them fighting long enough for Shepard to do what only she could, win it all. But she was only one woman. She would need help. She would need someone she could depend on to watch her back as she drove ever forward.

The Citadel was the key, if she was going to win this, beat the Reapers once and for all, it would have to be there not here. And if he was going to be that support, be the shield that would protect her from enemies unseen, he would have to go there as well. So, he made his decision. He looked once more to his men, "Follow Shepard's lead, men," he said with a burst of strength he didn't even know he had left in his body. "I don't know about you but I'm gonna give my life, if I have to, to make sure someone wins this war and saves the day. You have your orders. Don't be heroes. Just help one another to live another minute, and when this is all over and those damn robot squids have been blown to cosmic dust, meet me at the bar. I'm buying the first round."

The men cheered around him, echoing his sentiments almost ten fold, with those few words he knew he had conveyed enough hope to sustain his men through the rest of the day's fight. Their shots became more concentrated on the Reaper each man making sure his bullet did not go to waste. Nathaniel was impressed at the improvement of his men's morale, he knew it might be a temporary fix but it might be just enough to get them through the next few crucial hours. A few hours would be just enough time for Shepard to do her thing and save the galaxy from the Reapers, they only had to hold on for a little while longer.

Suddenly the Reaper changed tactics, switching from the defensive to the offensive, the plates that covered the body of the Reaper parted to reveal the deadly laser in the center. The rifle in his arms felt heavier as he looked up at the laser center, this was their one and only shot at truly ending this son of a bitch but this was probably going to be their final act. With as much strength as he could muster he lifted his rifle and aimed at the red center ready to fire just as the beam was brought to life. He was ready for this, for the end of his existence, even his body seemed to be accepting the fate his mind had anticipated since joining the Alliance. The beam started towards him and he fired his rifle hitting it dead center, the creature re-covered its weak point before making a quick retreat. His victory was short lived however when the Reaper moved even closer than before, the beam exposed once again as the machine prepared to fire. Nathaniel prepared his rifle to shoot once again when suddenly pair of missiles hit the Reaper's laser center, causing the machine to explode almost instantly.

"The _Normandy_!" he heard someone shout and his eyes immediately went to the sky, he saw that indeed the ship of legends was flying overhead. He smiled to himself as he watched the ship fly across the battlefield looking even more magnificent than it appeared in the vids he had seen.

"Shepard!" shouted another soldier, and Nathaniel spun around to see Shepard running at top speed towards their position, her squad mates not too far behind. He immediately recognized who was following her, one teammate was Major Kaidan Alenko and the other was the Turian soldier Garrus Vakarian. They were known as Shepard's A-team, the fact they were here meant Shepard was anticipating a difficult win.

When she got close enough she calmed her pace to a brisk walk, even from this distance Nathaniel could see some cuts and bruises on her face, more than likely the result of her own fight. She was welcomed by cheers from the men around all ecstatic to see her alive and kicking ass beside them.

When she arrived beside him he reached out his hand which she grasped almost immediately, a smile spreading across her face which he felt himself returning, she certainly did have a strange effect on people. "Thanks for the help, love, you have impeccable timing," he said as he released her hand, "Where's Anderson?"

She indicated with her thumb that he was behind them, "He stayed back to talk strategy with Hackett, but he'll be here soon. We're just about ready for our final assault on the beam, what's your status, Coats?"

"We can be ready to move as soon as the supply trucks arrive," replied Nathaniel, glancing over at his men who were now getting medical attention from an Asari nurse. He heard the sound of rushing footsteps to his left, he looked over to see Anderson coming closer to them, many of the soldier saluting him as he past by.

"Major, Commander," said Anderson as they saluted him, "I just got word from Hackett, he's keeping the Reapers busy in space but a few have broken free and are headed for our position, be ready to leave for the beam, Shepard."

"Understood, Anderson," said Shepard, nodding in acknowledgement, "Kaidan, Garrus, we're heading out soon, be ready."

"Aye, aye, Nat," said Kaidan, giving her a friendly wink.

Nathaniel looked from Kaidan to Shepard, raising his eyebrow at the sound of what had to be Shepard's nickname, "What's Nat short for, love?"

"Natalie," said Natalie, and she brushed some dark hair out of her face as she looked across the battlefield at the beam, "This is almost over, in a matter of hours our fate will be decided."

Nathaniel stood beside her, gazing at the beam though his eyes kept wanting to look at her, "I thought this feeling would be different."

Natalie looked over at him with a puzzled look, "What feeling are you referring to, Coats?"

"The feeling of knowing this war was about to end," replied Nathaniel, meeting her blue eyes briefly before looking back at the beam, "I thought I'd feel some kind of relief, instead I'm feeling more apprehensive than I did when that Reaper was about level us with its beam just a few minutes ago."

He felt a hand rest on his shoulder, "We'll get through this, Coats, you'll see. We just have to hang in there a little bit longer."

Nathaniel rested his hand on hers not daring to look at her, he could not trust that his eyes would not give away his fear, "You're an inspiration, love, truly."

"Tell me that after we've beaten the Reapers," replied Natalie grimly, "Come on, let's see what Anderson has planned."

He nodded and followed her to where Anderson was standing with Kaidan and Garrus, a serious look on Anderson's face when he saw Natalie and Nathaniel approaching, "Shepard, Coats, you're just in time. We were just about to discuss our strategy for going after the beam, so far we're all in agreement that it'll have to be you, Shepard, who leads the charge."

"Sounds good," said Natalie and she looked at Kaidan and Garrus, "Alenko, Vakarian, you're with me. I'll radio Joker and tell him to prepare the _Normandy_, I have a feeling we're going to need her for this fight."

"Sounds good," said Anderson solemnly, then his eyes rested on Nathaniel, "Coats, I want you to accompany Shepard and her squad, I need the best out there."

Nathaniel saluted the admiral, "Aye, aye, Anderson."

"Wait, will your troop be alright without you, Coats?" asked Natalie, she turned to look at him, concern evident in her voice.

He looked over at his battered men, as much as he wanted to stay with his troop he knew his place was now with Shepard and Anderson as they made their assault on the beam. "They'll be alright without me, they're a tough group of buggers."

"Now that that's been settled, we need to get going, we have a war to win," said Anderson, "Shepard, are you and the rest of the team ready?"

Natalie looked at Kaidan and Garrus who both nodded. "We're right behind you, Shepard, to the bitter end," said Garrus.

Natalie's lips twitched in the barest of smiles, "I know, Garrus, I can always count you and the rest of the squad." She turned to Nathaniel, her blue eyes rooting him to the spot, "Coats, if you need a few moments with your men, now's the time to take them. I still have to radio my pilot."

He nodded, surprised that even in the middle of a huge battle she was still considering others, "Thanks, love." He walked over to his troops, attempting to ignore the pit in his stomach as he tried to come up with the words to tell his men that he was going with Shepard and Anderson to the beam. Some of his men looked up at his approach, others were still too engaged in making necessary repairs to their weapons to even give him a glance, somehow he knew they already had figured his plan out.

"Men, how're you doing?" asked Nathaniel when he was close enough, by their drawn faces he knew they were ready to eat a hot meal and sleep. He desperately wanted to give them that reprieve but knew it would not be possible yet. _'Just another goal to work towards.'_

His lieutenant rose from the ground, saluting him before speaking, "We're doing alright, Major, nothing we can't handle. Is this it?"

A simple question. He would have preferred a more in depth question that required some eloquent speaking to answer. "Yeah," he said, his eyes cast down at the ground, "this is it."

His lieutenant gave him a curt nod, "Then, on behalf of all who have had the honor of serving with you, we wish you good luck, sir. We're holding you to that promise of buying us a round of beer at the pub."

Nathaniel laughed, glad for the small bit of relief his lieutenant had thrown to him like a lifeline, "Don't worry, mates, I'll be back before you know it. I've never had the honor of serving with such magnificent soldiers as you all, you've had my back from the start, we've conquered and we've lost. Know that no matter the outcome, you're all heros in every respect."

His men stood up, even the ones that seemed too tired to stand again, and saluted him. He was touched by the gesture even though it was commonplace there was something different, he looked in their eyes and saw the pride shining through the pain. That was what was different, the men were actually proud of what they were doing here, glad to have served together and he was almost moved to tears. "Men, dismissed," said Nathaniel nearly choking on the emotion that had swelled in his throat as he spoke, he felt as if he were leaving his blood family behind. His men moved their hands back to their sides and he forced himself to leave them, he mentally told himself not to look back.

Nathaniel saw that Shepard, Anderson, Kaidan and Garrus were now standing on the edge of the ledge looking at the beam and the many obstacles between here and there. He joined them, standing between Shepard and Garrus, "Bloody hell, have you ever seen anything like that before, Shepard?"

"Can't say I have, Coats, can't say I have," replied Natalie softly, her voice changed almost instantly when Anderson gave his signal that it was time to charge, "Let's move people!"

She jumped off the ledge, Anderson quickly on her heels, Kaidan and Garrus followed shortly after leaving Nathaniel standing there briefly glancing down at the others as they charged the field. _'It's now or never, Coats, take the leap.'_ He jumped down after a few more seconds and caught up with the others before they were too overwhelmed by enemies. When he glanced over at Shepard he saw a smile on her face when she noticed he was running right beside her, he smiled back at her, hope filling his soul as he sprinted towards death.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Finally the second installment! There are SPOILERS in this chapter, so reader beware! I took some liberty with the dialogue and a few of the events but other than that it's pretty set in the original story line. **

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Chapter Two

The ground trembled ominously as they entered the middle of the battlefield, Nathaniel felt himself falling to the ground only to be stopped by Shepard and they both turned their attention to the beam. Behind the gateway to the Citadel a huge Reaper appeared with its laser center already opened and pointing at the field. Time seemed to stand still as the Reaper encroached closer and closer to the beam, there was movement around him but all Nathaniel could focus on was the mother of all Reapers. He turned to Shepard hoping for an explanation or some kind of order but all he got was a scared look from the bravest woman in the galaxy.

Her lips moved and only a whisper emerged from her parted lips. "Harbinger."

"God save us all," he muttered and he darted forward, gun in hand hoping to reach the beam before Harbinger's laser found him first. At first, he thought he was alone in this pursuit only when he glanced to his right did he see Shepard keeping pace with him, a determined look etched deeply into her features. He was glad to see that the fear of Harbinger's presence had not stopped her from completing the mission nor did the flying Makos and Kodiaks seem to perturb her even slightly. They easily avoided the lasers being fired, able to predict their path by the changes in Harbinger's position and Nathaniel felt confident they would make it to the beam with little trouble now that they knew how to survive.

Suddenly a Mako was shot into their path causing both Shepard and Nathaniel to come to a screeching halt just as another one was shot at and flipped over the one in their path. He looked back just in time to see the flying Mako nearly strike both Garrus and Kaidan luckily both jumped out of the way though just barely. Shepard darted back for her crew members no longer caring about the their progress to the beam her attention now completely on getting her friends to safety. Torn between duty and heart he charged back to Shepard and helped Garrus back onto his feet while Shepard carried Kaidan to the shelter of the flipped Mako, he brought the Turian back over to them.

"_Normandy_, I need an evac right now!" shouted Shepard into her earpiece. There was a pause before Nathaniel heard the pilot agree to come to the battlefield and then less than two seconds later the ship of legends flew in close. He felt a sense of relief as he helped Garrus to his feet again and ran with him to the open bay doors of the _Normandy_.

Garrus shrugged him off as they became closer to the ramp. "I can take it from here, Coats, thanks." The Turian did not sound angry, on the contrary, he sounded almost grateful for the help he had received. Nathaniel nodded and watched as the Turian entered the ship, pausing only to take a heavily injured Major Alenko from the arms of Shepard.

"Get out of here!" he heard her shout but the Major refused to move another inch.

"That's not going to happen, Shepard!" Kaidan cried, a desperate look on his face as he watched Shepard back down the ramp.

"That's an order, Major!" she exclaimed though he heard the crack in her voice, he knew she did not want to leave her crew but had no other alternative.

Kaidan stretched out his hand to her, silently begging her to take it, she brushed it off with a wave of her hand. "You know I can't do that, Kaidan," she said, her voice thick with emotion. There was another rumble from Harbinger bringing them all back to reality, Shepard finished her descent off of the ramp and sharply gestured for them to leave. With that done she turned her back on her ship and crew and he followed her example though it pained him to do so, the _Normandy_ had seemed like a safe haven though if only for a moment. They charged once again into the heat of battle, their feet hitting the ground in rhythm as they avoided more laser fire, they were so close he could almost feel the beam. _'Just a little further,'_ he thought, it seemed almost possible they would get there without injury. In the back of his mind he heard Harbinger preparing for another attack but he was too focused on the beam to notice it was aimed right for him and for Shepard.

Instantly he felt his body flying backwards as his skin burned and cooked on his bones, pieces of his armor were thrown off his body in huge chunks, the sensation was strange and he felt as if he were floating towards the sky until his body hit the ground with a sickening thud. The world went black for a few moments, his senses told him that the world had ended and he too would join it but his still beating heart informed him otherwise. His eyes weakly opened and the world around him was blurred and spinning as he tried to sit up, hell being able to move his legs would have been a victory, but all he could do was move his head.

"Coats!" he heard someone shout but in his mind he could not place the fuzzy voice, instead he sat there trying to shake the clouded feeling in his head. "Coats!" came the voice again and this time he found the strength to lift his head and look around, he saw Shepard laying on her belly not too far from his position. Nathaniel lifted his hand towards her though his body protested greatly and he took solace when he felt her gripping it tightly, hope was still there, it was not lost after all.

With great difficulty he let go of her hand and rose on shaky legs, he could feel the burns on his body still cooking his skin and knew by the heaviness of his chest there were several broken ribs. He focused not on the pain but on getting Shepard back on her feet, he chanced a look at the sky and saw that Harbinger had quit the field which to him was a good omen. Nathaniel moved as quickly as he could the few steps to Shepard's side though it was difficult, his back felt stiff and broken and his legs were like jelly, but his resolve was not shaken as he stretched out his hand to the equally broken Commander. She took his hand with unheard of strength and together they pulled her to her feet, he glanced at her hands and saw burns on both forearms, her armor was gone from most of her body but still present where it counted. He was surprised to see a pistol clutched in her right hand but figured it would not do them any good to argue with her having her sidearm.

"Can you walk?" he asked in a quiet voice, his throat felt as if it too were on fire.

She gave a firm nod which he took as good as any spoken words. Nathaniel brought her nearest arm around his neck and with his other arm he wrapped it snugly around her waist to hold her as upright as he could. He did not wait for permission nor did he care if she protested, his priority was getting her to the beam and from there ending this war, but he could not do either if he waited for proper protocol. They walked as fast as they could towards the beam, it was probably one hundred feet away but it might as well have been ten thousand.

Shepard looked up at Nathaniel and a smile ghosted her cut lips. "You don't have to do this, Coats," she said, her voice weak. "You should get yourself looked at."

Nathaniel looked down at her and could not resist a small joke. "You're one to talk, love, but you're still prettier than me."

"Point taken," chuckled Shepard though she winced sharply in pain.

He knew it was important to have her focused on the mission but he could tell her mind was only on the pain she was feeling in her broken body, he had to get her talking again, her silence troubled him a great deal. "Tell me about what Earth used to be like," he said as they staggered closer to the beam. "I know you grew up in Florida, come on, Natalie tell me about it."

She drew a shaky breath as she thought of her old home, so far away from her now and most likely destroyed by the Reapers. "Hot and humid, lots of green land and beaches on the coast, I used to go there with my dad before he died. Why're you asking me about this, Coats, I thought you lived on Earth?"

"When I was a kid I lived in Carlisle then we moved to Arcturus," he said still holding her up. "Haven't been back since the war started, someday you'll have to show me those beaches."

"Deal," she groaned and leaned on him for more support, finding it harder and harder to keep upright the more they walked.

They finally arrived at the beam, he held onto her tighter as they broke the barrier and entered the bright white light. Nathaniel felt suddenly weightless as the beam transported him and Shepard up to the Citadel.

* * *

Somewhere high above Earth, Admiral Hackett stood at the terminal in the center of his warship waiting for any intel from the surface below. He heard frantic footsteps approaching him and he turned to see one of his lieutenants running towards him with a data pad extended out for him to take. He grabbed the data pad from the lieutenant's hand and scanned it for the news he was hoping for.

"Holy shit, she did it," he mumbled before opening up fleet wide communications. "Attention all fleets, we have confirmation that we have boots on the Citadel. Our priority now is guarding the Crucible at all costs."

* * *

When he finally came to his senses, Nathaniel felt something solid underneath his body it felt like a floor but he could not be sure until he found the strength to open his eyes. His eyelids opened but all he could see was a red light combined with the darkness of the room, from what he could tell it was some kind of narrow corridor. He turned his gaze from the light to the dark mounds against the nearest wall, if he could have screamed he would have when he saw a pair of dead human eyes looking back at him. "Shepard," he managed to croak out, his voice echoed all around the room.

"I'm here," she answered somewhere to his left. "You alright, Coats?"

"I've felt better," he said trying to laugh but instead he groaned, breathing was starting to become harder and harder to do with each passing second. "What about you, love?" He could tell even in the shadows that she was already on her feet, the soft glow of the pistol's core shone brightly in her hand.

"I feel like death," he heard her wheeze. There was a pause. "Anderson? That you?"

Shepard's voice fell silent as she listened to Anderson on the other end of her comm device. "I've got Coats with me," she said and then he heard a small ping in his ear.

"Coats, you there, son?" asked Anderson.

Nathaniel groaned as he moved his hand to his ear. "Yeah, I'm here, Admiral."

"Now that we're all connected, can either of you tell me where the hell you are?" asked Anderson, he sounded as bad as Nathaniel felt.

"We're in a hallway of sorts," replied Shepard as she came better into his view, she offered him a hand and he took it, he had more trouble than he thought he would as he stood up. His legs threatened to give out but something in him prevented him from tumbling down again, perhaps it was sheer will to live or maybe it was his determination to see this through that kept him upright.

"Lots of dead bodies, too," commented Nathaniel as he and Shepard started walking down the dark corridor.

"Where are you, Anderson?" asked Shepard, holding Nathaniel up as they past by a bug eyed Keeper.

"Some place similar," replied Anderson. "Reminds me of your description of the Collector base. Do you think they're using these bodies to build another Reaper?"

Shepard gave a feeble nod. "Makes sense, harvest the dead and process them into these tubes, must be easier when there isn't a whole helluva lot of resistance."

Nathaniel felt a shudder move through his body and it had nothing to do with the cold hallway they were walking in. "I saw some holos of that thing a few months ago, gave me nightmares for weeks."

Shepard gave a halfhearted grin. "Try seeing it in person alive and kicking."

"How about I don't and we say I did," joked Nathaniel.

"If you two are quite done," said Anderson, slightly irritated. "I'm coming into a chasm with more hallways like the one I was just in—shit!"

"What?!" exclaimed both Shepard and Nathaniel.

"A wall just moved," replied Anderson, he almost sounded in awe of what he was seeing. "I think this place is . . . changing."

Nathaniel and Shepard exchanged a worried look as they approached what appeared to be a door, when they got closer it opened up and revealed what could only be the chasm Anderson had mentioned earlier. They hobbled down the ramp before them all the while Shepard had her pistol raised incase some kind of unforeseen danger rounded the corner, he was amazed that she was still able to hold her gun up at all, her arm looked like she had stuck it in a flamethrower.

"I see something up ahead," came Anderson's voice as they entered the middle of the chasm. "Looks like there might be a console of some sorts."

Shepard grunted as she nearly tripped. "Don't get too far ahead of us, Anderson."

"She's right, Admiral," agreed Coats as he caught her. "We're right behind you, we're halfway through that chasm you mentioned earlier."

Anderson appeared to not have heard their pleas to wait for them. "I'm just going to go ahead and check this ou—"

Anderson's voice was cut out.

"Anderson?" said Shepard, her voice panicked. "Anderson, come in! Damn it!"

He gently squeezed her shoulder. "I'm sure he's fine, love."

"He better be, or I'll kick his ass from here to Earth," growled Shepard and Nathaniel gave a breathy laugh. They continued their slow progress up the next ramp, at least now they could see some kind of light but as they approached the top he felt an uneasiness settling in his stomach as if this was all too easy. When they were over the final step up to the top of the platform they entered a room with a panoramic view of the closed arms of the Citadel, under different circumstances this would have been a beautiful view. They saw Anderson standing at the console he had mentioned just a few moments ago.

"Anderson," said Shepard hopefully as she released her grip on Nathaniel and moved from his side closer to where Anderson was standing. The admiral turned towards them but there was something off about his movements, they were jerky and forced as if he were a puppet on a string.

He struggled to speak clearly. "Shepard . . . Coats . . . run . . ."

Nathaniel was about to ask what he meant when he felt an ice cold chill pierce his body and travel through him like water, he could not move any of his limbs, he was trapped. He looked up at Shepard and saw that she was too, her body frozen in the position it had just been in a few moments ago.

"It appears I've underestimated you, Shepard," came a male voice from behind Nathaniel. He desperately wanted to turn around and see who it was but his body would not allow him this simple movement.

"You!" groaned Shepard, she obviously did not need to see whomever was speaking to know he was an enemy. "What have you done?!"

The man behind him chuckled. "I told you before, Shepard, control is the key to survival. If control includes you as well as the Reapers, then so be it." The man at last came into Nathaniel's field of vision but once he got a look at the man's face, he wished he had stayed out of sight. He was an older human that much was certain but his face and neck were almost completely consumed by wires and cybernetics, the silver glowing eyes gave away his identity.

"So you're the Illusive Bastard?" quipped Nathaniel.

The Illusive Man turned his attention to Nathaniel. "It seems you brought another one of your Alliance self righteous lackeys, haven't you lost enough of them already, Shepard?"

Nathaniel snarled as images of his dead friends and colleagues flashed before his eyes. "You might want to watch what you say, Illusive Bastard."

"I don't believe you're in the position to be making threats, Major," said the Illusive Man coolly. He snapped his fingers and Nathaniel shot up straight in the air, his back arched and limbs spread, he cried out in pain despite himself.

Shepard stepped in, unable to watch the Illusive Man torment Nathaniel any longer. "Stop it!" The Illusive Man turned his gaze back to Shepard. "I think you'll find controlling us different from controlling a Reaper!"

"I think that demonstration just proved you otherwise, Shepard," replied the Illusive Man as he snapped his fingers again and Nathaniel dropped to the floor though still under the Illusive Man's control.

Anderson turned to the Illusive Man. "You fool, you can't even see that they're controlling you!"

"On the contrary, Admiral," said the Illusive Man smugly. "You both could do with a little faith." He started to pace between Anderson and Shepard. "Years ago, when humanity first discovered the mass relays and by extension the rest of the galaxy, there were some who believed it would be best to destroy them. They feared what we might find . . . or what we might welcome in. But look at all humanity has achieved since then, we have advanced further in these last thirty years than we did in ten thousand years prior!" He sounded almost proud of this accomplishment, as if he had singlehandedly pushed the human race into the galaxy. "The Reapers can do all that and more for us. But . . ."

Shepard suddenly pressed her forehead against her free palm and Nathaniel watched in horror as her pistol raised at Anderson.

" . . . only if we learn to harness the ability to control the Reapers," continued the Illusive Man.

Anderson's hand raised against Shepard's pistol. "That's bullshit! The only way we can gain control over them is if we destroy them before they destroy us!"

"And waste the only opportunity humanity has at becoming the most advanced race in the entire galaxy?! Never!" shouted the Illusive Man.

Nathaniel chuckled. "Sounds like you've gone stark raving mad, Illusive Bastard."

The Illusive Man flicked his hand and Nathaniel was stretched just a little further but it was enough to make his body feel as if it were going to rip in half.

"Coats is right," said Shepard calmly, "you're playing with forces you have no idea about, you don't know what they might do to you or humanity in the long run!"

"I . . ." the Illusive Man seemed hesitant to answer. "I don't believe you. If that kind of power is there for the taking, and we can control it, why shouldn't we grab our chance for glory?"

"Because," panted Shepard, her pistol arm shaking, "we're not ready yet."

Nathaniel was impressed, even under these terrible conditions she was still able to keep a clear head and reason with the ravings of a lunatic.

"You're wrong!" shouted the Illusive Man though his voice was loud they could all tell his confidence was wavering. "This is the only way we can guarantee humanity evolves as it should!"

Anderson shook his head as best he could. "No, Illusive Man, you're the one who's wrong," he said firmly, "there's always another way to do things."

The Illusive Man seemed almost amused with Anderson's protests. "I've dedicated my life to studying the Reapers and I know for a fact the Crucible will allow me the ability to gain control over the Reapers."

"And what's your big plan for after you gain an army of mechanical squids?" sneered Nathaniel.

The Illusive Man turned his silver eyes to Nathaniel. "Look at the power they wield, you buffoon, look at what they can do!" He clenched his fist and an aura of purple energy encompassed his hand. Suddenly a shot rang out and Anderson flinched, Nathaniel knew without looking that the Illusive Man had caused Shepard to shoot her friend and mentor, he truly was a sick bastard.

Shepard shook her head. "I've seen what they've done, what they've done to you."

"You idiot!" cried the Illusive Man. "I took what I wanted from them and made it my own! This isn't about either of us, Shepard, this is about the bigger picture!"

"Don't listen to him, Nat!" panted Nathaniel.

"That's right, Shepard, don't listen to the man who's done more than you know for humanity," taunted the Illusive Man, "listen to the head strong Marine who only knows how to point and shoot, obeying orders from men much smarter than he is."

"I'm smart enough to know when I'm being insulted by an arrogant, condescending asshole!" spat Nathaniel.

The Illusive Man ignored his words and continued on with his monologue. "What if you're wrong, Shepard, and controlling the Reapers is the right answer?"

"Well, what if you're wrong?" argued Shepard. "If we destroy the Reapers now, this entire war and the cycles end today, but if you try to control them and can't . . ."

"But I can! I know I can!" protested the Illusive Man though his voice was cracking.

Shepard shook her head again, her pistol now pointing towards the Illusive Man. "Are you willing to bet humanity's existence on it?!" she demanded. She saw him struggling just as Saren had when she had presented him with a similar argument. "They won't let you, and you know that!"

"No!" he shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Shepard. "I'm in control! No one is telling me what to do or how to do it!"

"Listen to yourself!" shouted Anderson. "You've been indoctrinated."

"No, I . . ." started the Illusive Man but the normally articulate man was at a loss for words.

"Let us go," said Shepard gently, "we'll take care of the rest."

The Illusive Man walked behind Anderson and took his pistol from the back holster. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Commander. You three would undo all I've worked so hard to accomplish for humanity."

"Because of what you've accomplished, humanity's already undone," spat Shepard. "They have control of the Citadel. They've got us fighting each other instead of fighting them! You've done exactly what the Reapers' have wanted all along and you're still listening to them because they control you! Not the other way around!"

"They're too strong!" cried out the Illusive Man helplessly, waving Anderson's pistol around in the air.

"You can fight them!" shouted Shepard, knowing what was likely to come next. "You're stronger than them, than this! Don't let them win!"

The Illusive Man brought the pistol up to his temple. "I'm sorry, Shepard, I tried." There was a click, then a bang and the Illusive Man's body dropped to the ground with a thud.

Nathaniel felt his own body drop to the ground, as much as he was glad to be released from the Illusive Man's hold he wished he could have put him down before shooting his brains out. Shepard came over and helped him to his feet and together they walked to the console, he broke away from her side when he saw Anderson collapse, letting her make the rest of the trip to the console. He heard her pressing in the sequence that would open up the arms of the Citadel but his focus was on Anderson, he could clearly see his wound was spilling a great deal of blood. Gently he propped him up on the raised platform in the center of the room and sat beside him exhaustion finally catching up with him.

"We did it, love," breathed Coats as he moved so she could sit between him and Anderson.

"Yeah, we did," said Shepard with a small smile as she leaned agains the platform.

"What a beautiful view," whispered Anderson as he admired the view of Earth. "God, feels like it's been years since I've just . . . sat down."

Shepard's breath was getting shaky as she tried to find the strength to speak. "I know the feeling."

Nathaniel felt her body go slightly more limp as she spoke. "Stay with me, Natalie, we're almost done. We need you in this fight."

She turned to him and smiled weakly, her eyes staying closed longer than he would have liked.

Anderson coughed though it was not one to interrupt their moment. "You've done great work, I'm proud of you, Natalie." The old admiral's eyes drifted over to the view of Earth one last time before he exhaled one last shaky breath and his soul left his body.

"Thank you, sir," whispered Shepard. She knew he was gone but did not want to bring it to Coats' attention, instead she leaned over and rested her head against his shoulder, she could feel her own life draining away as they sat there admiring the view of their home.

"Shepard! Commander!" came Hackett's voice through her ear piece.

She tried to shake the feeling of sleep from her body, instead focusing on Hackett's voice. "Yeah, what do you need me to do?"

"What's going on, Shepard?" asked Nathaniel, he too was fighting off the urge to slip into the tempting offer of eternal slumber.

Her voice was soft when she spoke, barely above a whisper. "It's Hackett, he says there's a problem with the Crucible, it's not firing." She shifted off his shoulder but collapsed onto the floor, weak from blood loss and exhaustion. She tried to stand but her arms gave out forcing her to crawl towards the console.

Nathaniel followed behind her, wanting to help in anyway even if it meant being there for her final moments, he refused to let her die alone. "Natalie," he said when he saw her collapse in front of the console. "I'm right here, love, it's going to be alright." He reached out his hand and found hers, he gripped it tightly and waited for the inevitable. His eyes started to close and the faint noise of explosions just outside the Citadel were silenced as he felt himself falling down the abyss.


End file.
